Meh, I miss Victor. I don’t get to talk to him for two weeks because he moved so they need the money for other things right now. It’ll be at least two weeks before I get to talk to him again. ):
I keep having horrible dreams that have to do with him.
In one dream, I was hugging him, and he was hugging me back. He asked, “So this is it?” and I didn’t answer.. I didn’t want that to be “it.” I stood there hugging him some more, and then someone walks by and goes, “So, you’re just friends?” and he shrugs me off and says, “yeah.”
In another one, we were being all lovey-dovey, and then I went to take a shower. When I got out of the shower, I saw his phone. There was a text from Shaina tweeting, freaking out because he broke up with me. I started panicking, I started getting that sinking feeling, like nothing could ever make me feel worse. There were two more texts, but I was afraid to read them and I didn’t want him to know I was reading them. I searched frantically for a way to make the message appear as unread, but I couldn’t find the option and eventually just set the phone back down. There was a red-headed girl that I guess I was friends with, and at this point I was still freaking out, trying to figure out what was going on. I was aware of victor and shaina sitting together to my left, but I was listening to the red-head. she goes, “I am so proud of you.” and I was like, “why?” and she said, “He broke up with you and you’re still acting like my friend and not being all weird.” and it was then that I admitted that I had no idea what was going on, that he hadn’t told me he was breaking up with me. I didn’t say all of that, but the tone in my voice when I said, “He broke up with me?” seemed to say it for me. I woke up sobbing from that dream, and when I woke up, I couldn’t even tell if it was a dream or not because I still had that feeling.
The third dream, I was at this big place and I knew he was there somewhere, but I figured I would go off and do my own thing and wait for him to finish his thing and we’d talk later. I ran into him, and I grab him around the waist to get his hug and attention, and he just shrugged me off without even looking at me or saying anything. It was scary.
I’m hoping these dreams stop, they scare me.
Going to bed!
